A community is a place where people can come and learn how to bond, mature, work through traumatic issues and begin to find their true identity. C.A.R.E., Inc. is a Christian community
- This is a community of broken people – the majority of participants come from backgrounds of severe abuse and neglect.
- This is a community that helps with trauma recovery although it is not the primary focus.
- Community works on remaining transparent with one another.
- We ask our members to remain humble and approachable with one another–it is especially important for leaders to demonstrate this to community members.
- Members are accountable to one another for our goals of maturity and healing.
- Members are asked to be honest with one another, speaking the truth in love.
- Members are asked to remain relational with one another, attempting to resolve all conflicts.
- Members are asked to encourage each other to both receive and give, being careful to give tasks of responsibility that are in keeping with each one’s level of maturity.
- We encourage maturity by giving small responsibilities first and graduating to more difficult responsibilities as the individual grows in maturity
Community is based on The Life Model – Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You
Which applied five principles to thriving: A place to belong, Learning to give and receive, trauma Recovery, Maturity and Living from the heart that Jesus gave them.
What does this look like in a community setting?
- A PLACE TO BELONG:
Who and what is personal to me? Where do I belong? Who is glad to be with me? Who cherishes me as a gift from heaven? Who do I want to be with in times of joy and in times of distress?
- LEARNING TO RECEIVE AND GIVE:
Are my personal people life-giving in their care for me and in their messages to me? Do they see me through the eyes of heaven and reflect those messages about my value to them? In this environment, will I learn how to receive these messages and will I also learn that I can be a source of joy and life to others?
- TRAUMA RECOVERY:
Do my personal people have the ability to comfort me and help me return to joy from a state of emotional distress? Will they model returning to a state of peace and calm after they and/or I experience fear, anger, disgust, sadness, shame and hopeless despair?
- MATURITY: Do my personal people help me learn to do hard things in life? Do they give me enough encouragement and support to try new tasks and also allow me to learn from my mistakes? Do they give me appropriate tasks for what my skills and developmental level requires at each given stage of maturity or will they give me more than I can handle or not enough of what I should be learning?
- LIVING FROM YOUR HEART:
When I become a young adult and I am ready to leave home, will I have a strong sense of who I am and what it is like me to do in all situations? Will I recognize my actions to be consistent with whom I understand myself to be? Do I have a strong and cohesive identity that remains consistent even in times of great distress? Have I learned to suffer well or will I be traumatized and loose touch with who I am in times of distress?
The nature of the pain experienced in the brain at each level if these Thrive principles have not been met:
- No place to belong: A PAINFUL EXISTENCE (life and relationships are painful).
- Have not learned to receive and give – A FEARFUL REALITY (avoids rather than approaches others, non-relational).
- Not recovered from trauma: CONTINUING EMOTIONAL DISTRESS
- Immaturity: IMMATURITY/MORAL FAILURES
- Not living from the heart: INCOHERENT, DISMEMBERED IDENTITY AND INTERNAL CONFLICT.
Answers to pain experienced at each level of the brain: A painful existence needs: A HIGH CAPACITY BRAIN – BOND FOR LIFE.
- A fearful reality needs: A FEARLESS BRAIN.
- Trauma recovery needs: A TRAINED BRAIN that can return to joy from each distressing emotion (fear, anger, disgust, sadness, shame and hopeless despair).
- Immaturity needs: A COMMUNITY.
- To live from one’s heart you need: God as the spiritual resource to show you your heart.
To reach the right side of the brain in levels one through four (place of belonging, giving & receiving, trauma recovery, maturity and living from your heart) it is not what we say but how the we say it that will reach people at these levels of pain:
non-verbal
- voice tone
- eye contact
- facial expression
- safe and comforting physical touch
- quiet and rest
- using physical distance and closeness to approach or move away to as needed (interactive quiet together).
- Actions of caring rather than words of caring.
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